just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
