I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
