Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
