This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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