You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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