Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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