Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
