We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
