Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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