my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
