I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
