i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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