The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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