just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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