she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I am available for nakedness
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
