i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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