Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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