we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
