Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize