There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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