"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You took a bar mat shot.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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