Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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