Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
