She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
