I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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