i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
