Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
