he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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