and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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