FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
