yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize