I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
