The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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