I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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