Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
