my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
