I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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