Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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