If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize