Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
