Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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