can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
