nut hugger
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
