areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
