FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
