I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize