I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
