last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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