i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Still dying that you shit outside
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
