i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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