matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize