It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
