every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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