i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So many bounce houses so little time
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
