Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
They took my balls.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
