After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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