Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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