ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
