We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
