he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
